November 26, 2007 at 9:27 pm | Posted in Church, Fun Times | 8 Comments
One of the highlights of our year is the annual marriage retreat that our church puts on. Martina and I are SMG plank owners having been to every one. Tammy and her crew of energetic and very talented ladies knock themselves out every year making the venue look absolutely wonderful. Here’s a big Cap’n Jim shout-out to all you “events people” otherwise know as PWMTLRG.
As I said, this event is one of our favorites and this year was no exception. The opening night diner dance was a smashing success. Here are some folks we spent the evening with.
The Cap’n & his Wench
Matt & Lori
Colin & Mindie
John & Casey
Wayne & Gloria
One high point was when George Clooney paid us an unexpected visit…
After that it was time to dance the night away…
The next morning we got to hear Matt teach on Inloveness, an idea he got from reading “A Severe Mercy.” One of the points Matt made was how we all define love in different ways and that the way I define love will impact how I view the events in my life. That idea just clicked for me and I sat dumbfounded as this thought rolled around in my head and the more I thought about it, the more this concept began to explain so much about me and my life.
One of the things that I have struggled to deal with in my life is reactions that are out of proportion to the triggers. Have you ever overreacted to something and then just wondered to yourself where the h… did that come from? Me too.
This is what Matt helped me to see. I am an Acts of Service kind of guy. I can transmit in most of the love languages but if you want to love me, you’ll have to “show me.” What I realized is that because I interpret love through acts of service, when a request I’ve made is overlooked, this gets run through my internal “love filter” and suddenly a minor oversight (forgetting to close a door or perform a favor) turns into “you don’t love me.” My reaction is then to the output of my filter and not the actual event. Kinda sad isn’t it? To think that forgetting to close the dishwasher can instantly morph into “I’m unloved.”
The good news is that I am not a prisoner to my misconceptions about what love is. The answer is in learning and living out the truth about what God says about love.
Pardon me, I gotta go read 1 Cor 13 again.
November 25, 2007 at 5:33 pm | Posted in Church, Commentary, Family | 7 Comments
I’ve started several posts in the last month, but each of them just didn’t pass my “So What” test. Some of them seemed too much like bragging, others were too whiny and still others were poor attempts at humor that just came off like bragging or whining. So let me go with a tried and true topic for this holiday season. In no particular order here are some of the things that I am thankful to God for:
1. My relationship with God. It is better than it has ever been, and it is getting better. This isn’t because of me or my efforts but it is the result of His Holy Spirit working through the people in my life that are making me a better Jim. Which brings me to numbers 2 and 3.
2. My very beautiful wife.
She has been stuck with me for the last 29 years and still claims to love me more than she did at the beginning. Someone once asked me what Martina saw in me, I thought about it for a bit then replied “I don’t know, and I’m not about to ask her. She might stop and think about it and begin to wonder herself. Then where would I be?” My wife’s love is like the love of God in that I don’t deserve it, it just is. I accept it, am eternally grateful for it, and try very hard to show how much I appreciate it.
3. Sandals Church. I am very blessed to go to a church that “gets it.” I have witnessed more change in my life in the last 5 years than in the previous 30 as a Christian. God has graced me with people in my life that genuinely love and care about me. Do we get it right all the time? Of course not! Thats why we have a fetish about being real. We are passionate about forgetting the games and the fake facades and just being who we are. Then we try to let God deal with the junk. And believe me there is plenty of junk for God to deal with. I’m not sure but I think Sandals provides full time employment for at least one therapist. And that’s just the staff! 🙂 (Disclaimer: for the hyper critical out in blog land that was a joke)
4. My kids. Despite their various and sundry problems this year, they are for the most part handling them with grace and maturity. As a parent I still fret, and sometimes I get a little aggravated that their junk is spilling over into my life. But that’s what relationship is all about, being there for each other in good times or bad. And Jeremy’s marital challenges has meant that Martina and I get to spend a whole lot more time with Adelaide.
5. My old house. I have spent the last 3 weekends working on DIY projects. NOT the projects that I want or plan but the ones the house picks. You see when you own an old house sometimes you have no control over when the pipes need repair or the closet HAS to be sealed and painted. Things that you thought could wait for the “round-2-it” suddenly become “Job Number 1” But at least I still have a house to work on. Not everyone can say that this year.
6. My job that is 100 miles from home. I never had a plan to drive 100 miles/2 hours to work. It was never my goal to spend 4 hours a day in my car. It just happened. My job used to be 22 miles/30 min from home. Then one day a VP of the company paid us a visit and told us they were closing the Ontario plant and moving all our jobs to Palmdale. Crud. I then formed THE PLAN. I would go back to school and get a degree in Info Sys Eng. then switch over to the IT sector, get out of aerospace all together. Well, I got the degree. But the fact that I’m still making the drive ought to tell how well my plan worked out. Seems the internet boom was a bubble, the 16 month degree program took 3 years to complete, and my company apparently really wants to keep me (if the raise was any indicator). don’t get me wrong, the only thing wrong with my job is that it’s 100 miles form home out in the middle of the desert. I get to work on the coolest airplane ever built, doing a job that provides capabilities to our war-fighters that means they are more likely to come home. And sometimes I really do work with rocket scientists. I just wish it were closer to home. Unfortunately, people get really really upset when you drop an experimental aircraft on their house. So now that I’m too close to retirement to quit, I wear the golden handcuffs. Which of all the problems in life to have, is a really good one.
7. My grand daughter Adelaide June. What can I say? As an unbiased Opa she is without a doubt the prettiest, smartest, cutest, best behaved, most adorable, little girl God ever made.
See? I told you!
8. People who read this blog and let me know they appreciate what I have to say. You guys are the ONLY reason I am still trying.
There many other things that I am thankful for this season, but this is already too long, so I will sign off for now. God bless and try to remember just why it is that we celebrate during this season.
Cap'n Jim's Logbook 
Things I’m thankful for
November 25, 2007 at 5:33 pm | Posted in Church, Commentary, Family | 7 CommentsI’ve started several posts in the last month, but each of them just didn’t pass my “So What” test. Some of them seemed too much like bragging, others were too whiny and still others were poor attempts at humor that just came off like bragging or whining. So let me go with a tried and true topic for this holiday season. In no particular order here are some of the things that I am thankful to God for:
1. My relationship with God. It is better than it has ever been, and it is getting better. This isn’t because of me or my efforts but it is the result of His Holy Spirit working through the people in my life that are making me a better Jim. Which brings me to numbers 2 and 3.
2. My very beautiful wife.
She has been stuck with me for the last 29 years and still claims to love me more than she did at the beginning. Someone once asked me what Martina saw in me, I thought about it for a bit then replied “I don’t know, and I’m not about to ask her. She might stop and think about it and begin to wonder herself. Then where would I be?” My wife’s love is like the love of God in that I don’t deserve it, it just is. I accept it, am eternally grateful for it, and try very hard to show how much I appreciate it.
3. Sandals Church. I am very blessed to go to a church that “gets it.” I have witnessed more change in my life in the last 5 years than in the previous 30 as a Christian. God has graced me with people in my life that genuinely love and care about me. Do we get it right all the time? Of course not! Thats why we have a fetish about being real. We are passionate about forgetting the games and the fake facades and just being who we are. Then we try to let God deal with the junk. And believe me there is plenty of junk for God to deal with. I’m not sure but I think Sandals provides full time employment for at least one therapist. And that’s just the staff! 🙂 (Disclaimer: for the hyper critical out in blog land that was a joke)
4. My kids. Despite their various and sundry problems this year, they are for the most part handling them with grace and maturity. As a parent I still fret, and sometimes I get a little aggravated that their junk is spilling over into my life. But that’s what relationship is all about, being there for each other in good times or bad. And Jeremy’s marital challenges has meant that Martina and I get to spend a whole lot more time with Adelaide.
5. My old house. I have spent the last 3 weekends working on DIY projects. NOT the projects that I want or plan but the ones the house picks. You see when you own an old house sometimes you have no control over when the pipes need repair or the closet HAS to be sealed and painted. Things that you thought could wait for the “round-2-it” suddenly become “Job Number 1” But at least I still have a house to work on. Not everyone can say that this year.
6. My job that is 100 miles from home. I never had a plan to drive 100 miles/2 hours to work. It was never my goal to spend 4 hours a day in my car. It just happened. My job used to be 22 miles/30 min from home. Then one day a VP of the company paid us a visit and told us they were closing the Ontario plant and moving all our jobs to Palmdale. Crud. I then formed THE PLAN. I would go back to school and get a degree in Info Sys Eng. then switch over to the IT sector, get out of aerospace all together. Well, I got the degree. But the fact that I’m still making the drive ought to tell how well my plan worked out. Seems the internet boom was a bubble, the 16 month degree program took 3 years to complete, and my company apparently really wants to keep me (if the raise was any indicator). don’t get me wrong, the only thing wrong with my job is that it’s 100 miles form home out in the middle of the desert. I get to work on the coolest airplane ever built, doing a job that provides capabilities to our war-fighters that means they are more likely to come home. And sometimes I really do work with rocket scientists. I just wish it were closer to home. Unfortunately, people get really really upset when you drop an experimental aircraft on their house. So now that I’m too close to retirement to quit, I wear the golden handcuffs. Which of all the problems in life to have, is a really good one.
7. My grand daughter Adelaide June. What can I say? As an unbiased Opa she is without a doubt the prettiest, smartest, cutest, best behaved, most adorable, little girl God ever made.
See? I told you!
8. People who read this blog and let me know they appreciate what I have to say. You guys are the ONLY reason I am still trying.
There many other things that I am thankful for this season, but this is already too long, so I will sign off for now. God bless and try to remember just why it is that we celebrate during this season.