Cap’n Jim’s Logbook

One of the highlights of our year is the annual marriage retreat that our church puts on. Martina and I are SMG plank owners having been to every one. Tammy and her crew of energetic and very talented ladies knock themselves out every year making the venue look absolutely wonderful. Here’s a big Cap’n Jim shout-out to all you “events people” otherwise know as PWMTLRG.

As I said, this event is one of our favorites and this year was no exception. The opening night diner dance was a smashing success. Here are some folks we spent the evening with.

The Cap’n & his Wench

Matt & Lori

Colin & Mindie

John & Casey

Wayne & Gloria

One high point was when George Clooney paid us an unexpected visit…

After that it was time to dance the night away…

The next morning we got to hear Matt teach on Inloveness, an idea he got from reading “A Severe Mercy.” One of the points Matt made was how we all define love in different ways and that the way I define love will impact how I view the events in my life. That idea just clicked for me and I sat dumbfounded as this thought rolled around in my head and the more I thought about it, the more this concept began to explain so much about me and my life.

One of the things that I have struggled to deal with in my life is reactions that are out of proportion to the triggers. Have you ever overreacted to something and then just wondered to yourself where the h… did that come from? Me too.

This is what Matt helped me to see. I am an Acts of Service kind of guy. I can transmit in most of the love languages but if you want to love me, you’ll have to “show me.” What I realized is that because I interpret love through acts of service, when a request I’ve made is overlooked, this gets run through my internal “love filter” and suddenly a minor oversight (forgetting to close a door or perform a favor) turns into “you don’t love me.” My reaction is then to the output of my filter and not the actual event. Kinda sad isn’t it? To think that forgetting to close the dishwasher can instantly morph into “I’m unloved.”

The good news is that I am not a prisoner to my misconceptions about what love is. The answer is in learning and living out the truth about what God says about love.

Pardon me, I gotta go read 1 Cor 13 again.