Cap’n Jim’s Logbook

Note this post was started on Monday but life has kept me from finishing it until today.

Once again Pastor Matt brought it yesterday during church. We are currently in the midst of an 8 week series called “Remix” whose theme is prayer. The idea is to radically change the way we pray thus becoming more effective Christians.

Yesterday Matt’s thesis was “Reverence.” He reminded us that we serve an awesome God and using one of his favorite illustrations from the “Chronicles of Narnia” warned us that our god is certainly not tame, but He is good. Matt tried to get us past our usual ways of praying and to remember that true prayer connects us to the God that holds the universe in the palm of his hand, and just maybe we ought to treat Him with a little more respect.

As I processed Matt’s sermon, I realized that the most irreverent thing I do is when I come to God in unbelief. Too often, I find myself kin to the people in Acts 12 that were fervently praying for Peter to be released from jail, and when he shows up at the door they refuse to believe that it is him. In other words, I am going through the motions of prayer because of duty, peer pressure, guilt etc. but I really don’t believe God is actually going to answer my prayers. Often, I feel like I’ve done “my duty” by throwing up a prayer, and if God doesn’t answer, oh well not my problem. How pathetic is that?

I think the root of my problem is that basically, I’m a head kinda guy. I think I’ve mentioned before how I struggle to make that 18” connection between my heart and my head. This makes it difficult for me to really put myself in another’s place, to feel their pain and really want to help resolve it. I know I’m supposed to care, I  really want to care, but I’m just not feeling it.

I’m not sure how I am going to get around this issue, but I did confess it to my guys in our RD group Tuesday evening. Since then I have noticed a small renewal as I try to keep my prayers real and honest. I think the confession helped in two ways, 1) Confessing it brought the issue out into the light, robbing the enemy of all power to attack me via guilt. 2) One of my friends let me know that things might not be as bleak as I perceived them to be. He told me that when he knows that I am praying for him, he has felt God’s comforting hand acting in his life. All I can say to that is: God’s grace is SO much bigger than we realize. To realize that He is able to use my feeble attempts at intercessory prayer to accomplish something good is humbling and a great relief. I mean if God needed us to get it right before He could act on our behalf, how hopeless would we be? Praise God that it is not up to us and that He is not limited by our abilities.